There are some periods of time in our life journey that are devilishly dark and empty. In this brutal darkness, one's existence seems no longer comprehensible.
What am I doing here?
What I am supposed to do?
Who am I?
What will become of me when life as we know it ends?
Your relationship with Allah should answer these questions, and drive away your anxiety.
I've seen that sacred light, but why I always go back to that awful darkness?
Feeling the glorious light of faith is like no other experience. It enters your body and purify every molecule, thought and emotion in you; guiding them all to happiness and to both internal and external peace. It merges with your soul, then your heart willingly surrender completely to it. Love will rule! a nice gesture from someone would be highly appreciated, and never forgotted while a hurtful word would be overlooked and given no second thought!. It will leave you with such a light-hearted-feeling that will free you from the restraints of greed, jealousy and that selfish desire to have better things than the next person has. This is somehow justified or better said -understood- since our life is loaded with over-appreciated STUFF!.
This divine light filled me up with a beautiful sensation which empowered me to honestly say: "I can go without regrets.. without holding on tightly to this world.."; Not because I got suicidal or loved life less, but simply because I could finally sincerely believe in what I've always known, that I understood the higher purpose I should serve, what really matters is now crystal clear and is truly cherished by my heart. This full-of-light-state enabled me to face any obstacle in this world with a believer smile, A smile with that charm and glow only faith could carve so perfeclty on ones' eyes.
There is something poetic about this light.I wish I had control over all the muscles in my body, so I can forbid my eyes to blink and be deprived from that light for even a split of sec.! doesn't that sec. seem to be so worthless, sinful and
wasted?!
Faith can never be taught. religion colud be taught but not faith. If so it would not differ from Biology and Algebra!. I get it when a person in a full-of light-state tries helplessly to guide his loved ones to this sacrd light, however, something must be understood; no matter how hard you tried, this could only and only happen from within a person..
I felt so obsorbed by this light, I thought nothing whatsoever could make me look away from it. yet that cloud of darkness crept in separating us two, creating some sort of a spiritual-barrier penetrating the warmth of that pure light... This shielded-from-light-state may last a day, a two or, a week; but in that state I do things or ignore doing things that haunts me later with awe of pain and regret, actually feeling the claws of despair digging deep inside of me to that place darkness could never beat. Then, after realizing the survival of that place, I gather all the strength in me longing to get back where I once stood with no barriers. I
did beat the darkness..
The thing is:
full-of-light-state, shielded-from-light-state, full-of-light-state..
could this cycle ever be broken? could I be always in a constant full-of-light-state?
Don't you guyz love Magrudy's? =D I spent lotsa time there yesterday and wished I could live there hehehe ;p
currently reading..
going 2 read someday :P (taking a break from classics)
during accounting class ;p
(I need a new cam! mallait mn elphone camera!.. don't even ask about my old one ;p)
one last thing, I took the responsibilty of campaigning for Landscape Architecture, hoping to get enough students sign up for it 3shan ynzl etta5a99 and not hate myself when asked: what's your major?!!!.. I am ofcourse USING dxb-girl's designing skills to do the posters coz I have 0% of them =D 3adi 3ial cuz 3lfa'6i lazm ast'3llch ;p
I'll tell you the updates later..
ta6aani, 7mdaya, 7ammood
in shangrella AD..
